You’re The People Whisperer

Mary’s training a puppy.  She’s taking the job very seriously and doing it well. Both of us think that we should have taken as disciplined an approach to managing people in our entrepreneurial days.

The toughest thing for an entrepreneur to learn is that most people want to be led.  The entrepreneur is an entrepreneur to a large degree because he or she doesn’t want to be led (or isn’t capable of accepting direction). So it’s natural to think that other people are the same way: just give them something challenging to do and leave them alone and you’ll get great results – at least if you have good people. Sounds good but it isn’t true.  Such an enlightened approach to leadership is really abdication and is bound to fail.

“Treat people the way you’d like to be treated” is good advice for middle managers who manage other managers. It’s bad advice both for first level supervisors and for CEOs.

Primates, like canines, are herd animals.  Herd animals evolve instincts that allow the herd to function. Many of the instincts are about knowing who is dominant over whom and who takes orders and who gives them. Sure, there are disputes over leadership but rarely misunderstanding about who the leader is at any given time. If you’re going to be a leader, then you’ve got to assume the posture and stature and authority of a leader.  Symbolism is very important.

The puppy wants to put its paw on top of your hand.  Cute but it’s a no-no because the puppy is trying to be top dog and that’s your role. The puppy pulls on its leash; can’t let it do that because you’re supposed to be the leader, not the puppy.

Symbolism without substance is easy to accomplish – that where we get the empty suit from. But substance without symbolism does not a leader make.  There’s a reason why kings wore such elaborate trappings; it’s harder to be a leader in jeans than in ermine robes; but even given that a pompous overdressed ass doesn’t make a good leader for an entrepreneurial high tech firm, you still need to assert leadership both symbolically and substantively in order to make your company successful – and your followers happy and secure. Weak leaders induce anxiety in their followers – revolt comes next.

Even though they probably don’t know they’re doing it, your followers (employees) are constantly looking at you for clues to the strength of your leadership.  In a flat organization you don’t have a court or hierarchy to highlight your importance and you’re directly visible to most of the organization. You have to create your own presence.

In Cesar’s Way, dog whisperer Cesar Milan says that you need a “calm-assertive” manner to lead a dog.  Same thing is true for leading people.  Shouting is appropriate in certain leadership situations such as the deck of a ship in a storm or the din of battle.  It’s usually a sign of weakness in a corporate office (although I have known some bullies who get surprisingly good results). Best is to speak with the calm assurance that you’ll be listened to and obeyed (not a touchy-feely word but what you need to have happen).

When you speak, don’t let yourself be interrupted or shouted down.

Being open to argument is a sign of strength and absolutely necessary if you’re going to get the good advice you need. Nevertheless, it needs to be you, the leader, who decides when there’s been enough discussion and you who make the decision based on the input you’ve gotten – or not. You’re responsible for the decision; you make it.  Believe me, it’s unlikely anyone else around the table wants that responsibility.

When you give someone instructions, have him or her repeat them back to you.  This is necessary to avoid misunderstanding and confusion in any case; but, equally important, reading back the instruction is a symbolic acknowledgement that your leadership is accepted.

Never avoid giving bad news in person. I’ve let subordinates talk me out of delivering news like layoffs personally and it’s always been a mistake. People need to know how to react to bad news; they need to look at you to get the clues on how they should react.

Being a leader is lonely.  Your startup may start as a collaboration; but, if it succeeds, a leader has to emerge or be brought in. If you’re the emergent leader, you’ll find you’re somewhat estranged from your former colleagues. Unfortunately, that’s the way it has to be.  You’ve gotta be top dog when you train a puppy – and when you run a company. The pack expects it.